Your negative ego is running your life, not you. And your negative wants to see you dead. Not just dead, frustrated, shattered, destroyed and ‘D’E’A’D’
God does not have an ego. I will explain below.
Ok, lets start with what is the ego, and what specifically is the “negative ego”.
The ego is like a window through which you view the world. I would say it was like a pair of glasses, however, you cannot see the world without your ego.
The ego is that part of you that translates the information that is the world and shows you only the parts that you want to focus upon.
The negative ego is like a soiled and dirty window. It distorts what you see, colors the feelings you see, places negative spins on happenings you see.
It is that part that whispers to you, “You are not good enough for her” or conversely “You are too good for her” . The positive ego says nothing, the negative ego is out to destroy your life.
It is your job to decide what you want; where you want to go. It is the ego’s job to display the subset of information that you require to interact with the world.
There is so much happening right in front of you, right this very second that you are completely unaware of. And, it is not just this second, but every point in time that you can view. This is why I say that the ego focuses your awareness on the hear and now that matter to you.
Now, on to ego death. Why does this concept exist? Well, long ago, you got scared, and like in a cartoon, you handed the ego (sitting in the passenger’s seat) the steering wheel and said, “You drive.”
Now, the ego cannot drive, even if it had more then just the steering wheel. It is your job to decide where to go.
So, you crashed, and blamed it on ego. Repeat…And now, the ego is very upset, and wants to see you DEAD. Humiliated, squashed, upset, run down… dead.
One way to clear the ego is to die. But not a physical death. The death that the ego feels you are finally DEAD. This resets the ego. This is a buddhist action and you will need to get a lot of instruction and understanding from a master to do this. I will not attempt to describe it here.
What I will suggest is that you be aware that the negative is there and it is coloring your perceptions. When you find your negative ego coloring something, correct its behavior. Like you would train a dog. No no, bad ego. This will slowly retrain your ego.
The next part, is take control of your life. Decide where you want to go, and start heading that direction. If you do not like where you are going, or where you ended up, choose to go somewhere else. Do not give up your control. It is for you to decide.
This is not an apply pressure to your life thing, this a direction deciding thing. It is not about a destination, it is about moving towards the destination.
Like, you do not push you car and steer, you simply steer while letting the car move you forward.